Bird Song

wild bird in captivity feels

 a certain anxiety when

all he wants is to be free

the way all birds were born to be

as he looks up to the sky he

can't help but fantasize that

maybe in his next born life

he'll have not only wings but flight

... and not feel the expectation

to subdue his aviation

his feathers in the wind

to end is to begin again

among the most amazing things

how quickly life can change

took a buckshot to the wing

and now he'll never soar again

other ravens come to him

he wishes he could leave with them

his broken heart is in distress

no lullaby can help him rest

but now the time's approaching

to leave behind his poaching

return to earth and then he

will be reborn again... repeat

Change

don't ever let it stop you
ink at the tip of a pen
something about the way you lie there
in weakness I give in
some certain proposal
promises left unsaid
fur at the tip of a lily
and I'm strong

with a smile and a nod
hello, goodbye, I love you
those things you're not supposed to do...
finish my sculpture with
frosting and carnival music
I cannot see this place you've brought me
I cannot hear the lies you tell me

I don't buy into what you're selling
things change babe...
not because the world is ending
every book I've ever read for you
burns like fire
allowing any ending you choose

frost settles slightly on the window
the morning is still
it's quieter than usual
the cool breeze that's typical
of this time of year becomes
more frigid with each passing gust
and I'm dressed for summer

pain at the tips of my fingers
keeps me awake
waiting for something
but I'm not sure what yet
and I can't keep myself from wondering
if you'll be there when I need you to
hold me like I need you to
but don't let that stop you

don't ever let it stop you
don't let your feet get sore
things change without a warning
I can't say another word

Ferris Wheel

my mind is a Ferris wheel
where sometimes I'm so high
that I can see most everything
and I can touch the sky
then there is the middle ground
where lines can be ignored
and I can observe deeply now
this moment I'm here for
still dissension is a certainty
and so I cry
but tears are just a flock of birds
that quickly pass on by
and once again, I'm lifted
and am present in my life
rising slowly upward
watching joy and pain float by.

powder blue

there's a powder blue
little boy inside of you
and I know someday
he'll be coming back
but the man he's become
yeah he's really come undone
focused only on
the things that he lacks
caught inside of loop
of rancid feedback

He's been tied to an anchor
and he's drowning in his anger
over all the things
that seem to go wrong
but when push comes to shove
it's no stronger than our love
or the beauty that we share
in our songs
I might leave him but
I won't be gone long

he's afraid of heights
so afraid that he might
succeed at the things
his father disdains
but he does it despite him
although he could never fight him
he is way more confident
than he seems
as he follows his own heart
to his dreams

there are notes so unwilling
still they flow from his fingers
with fluidity his soul can envy
and while he doesn't believe
in himself as much as me
I have hope someday
that he'll learn to see
that their world is just
imaginary

not really here

I feel like I have been
placed upon a shelf
I want to break out of
the story I tell myself
I have been walking around
the earth looking for something
just like a treasure
and just as hard to find
I don't know where I'm going
I don't know where I've been
all that I know is that I'm
looking within again

Don't ask me any questions
I have no answers prepared
and you don't care what I think
I can tell by your stare
you could look right through me
and I won't even care
I've gotten used to feeling
like I am not really here

I find it funny that we
all feel so alone
when we could all just be
more friendly and reach out more
unintended consequences
social casualties
not sure when to be ourselves
and when to try to please
I feel so awkward
so tired of being me
but that's the only thing that
I can authentically be

don't ask me any questions
I have no answers prepared
and you don't care what I think
I can feel it in your stare
you could look right through me
and I won't even care
I've become used to feeling
like I am not really here

Shadow Puppet

I don't sleep much because someday
I'm gonna sleep forever
or maybe be reborn into a different life
I hope it will be better
I feel broken down from being kicked around
I can't afford to fight it
by eyes are holding fear back in the form of tears
not sure if I can hide it

I'm chewed to the quick, so fucking sick
of all the games
that we're forced to play so they can take
our names in vain
I'm hung by the scruff and I'm feeling rough
along the edge
try not to look at me, I'm terrified you'll see
who cares?

I'm just a shadow puppet
who's eating all their words
a broken record skipping
on all that I've ever said or heard
I can't waste any more time
on all their thoughts about me
my nose is stuck to the grind
of being who I want to be

I don't know what to do anymore
this world's out of control
ignorance is a point of pride
told to suppress what's inside
I just can't take much more of this
focus on financial success
when we all know it's out of reach
for those born into poverty

why do they love to judge
what's obvious about me
missing the context of
all that they cannot see
their constant commentary
is so irrelevant
why don't they spend more time on
something significant?

I'm just a shadow puppet
who's eating all their words
a broken record skipping
on all that I've ever said or heard
I can't waste any more time
on all their thoughts about me
my nose is stuck to the grind
of being who I want to be

Regrets

the only words that I regret
are those I didn't say
I've spent too much time on doubt
because I was afraid
I let their opinions make me hate
my only voice
adopted their perceptions like
I didn't have a choice

I take responsibility
before I act then own it
if I didn't want this crop
I certainly wouldn't have grown it
why are you so hell-bent on
convincing me to say
that I regret my words because
you took them the wrong way

compassion and detachment
aren't mutually exclusive
focusing on someone else's life
is so intrusive
I can't waste my time on hoping
that you'll understand me
while you're busy drafting all
the verdicts that you'll hand me

you tell me to swallow
what you know will make me sick
so I wash my hands of you
and chew them to the quick
I'll execute the punishment
I did nothing to earn
but I won't let you do it because
then you'd never learn

Truth

I want to see you
don't want to be you
be yourself and I'll be mine

we are all different
nothing's wrong with it
anything else wastes our time

our own perspectives
are so subjective
we find our truth our own way

we start out in wombs
and end up in tombs
why care what others will say

resisting normalcy
it means nothing to me
it bores me this third degree

say what you want to
I'll listen to you
that doesn't mean I'll agree

I'll put it simply
you'll never get me
turn my attention inside

I'm on my own path
your troubles distract me
truth is outnumbered by lies

the notions your selling
seem overwhelming
I can't keep up with their pace

why sell my self short
just to conform
saving, not showing my face

I would prefer if
you'd be mature and
take our nuances as such

show some compassion
it's all I'm asking
why does it feel like too much?

Spoonfuls

enough is enough
quit your bitching and change it
if you hate your life
why don't you rearrange it
projecting your shit onto me
is an excuse
to keep you from looking
at what is wrong with you

you're just a princess
who won't lift a finger
allowing resentment
to fester and linger
you look in the mirror
and hate what you see
so now you are pushing
your ugly on me

you view my happiness
like a slight against you
I've always wondered
what I have done to you
you are so cold
and so hard to be around
you went out hunting
for the misery you found

you behave like you
exclusively feel pain
victim of everyone
never share the blame
dishing out spoonfuls
of hostility
while you refuse helpings
of kindness from me

at this point I just wish
somebody would deck you
'cause all that they do
is coddle and protect you
so you get away with
the things that you do
and spread all your darkness
to those around you

Intangible

trying to talk to them is like
floating in the ocean
their current carries me far
from the place where I began
I could swim against it
but it's stronger than my thin arms
and I am in so deep now that
my feet can't find the sand

I am getting closer to
who I have longed to be
but confidence is threatening
to insecurity
every time I get to feeling
good about myself
judgment comes a flooding in
from everybody else

we get what we ask for
all our thoughts and words have weight
love and lust and loneliness and
hope and fear and hate
floating in the air filling the spaces
between things
making each of us connected
to all living beings

I have just one obstacle
that always holds me back
I've so much to offer but
it's money that I lack
people act like poetry
is just symbolic trash
while they pursue their "power"
through the false idol of cash

there's no amount of coffee that
could help me right now
exhausted from not sleeping and
my body's shutting down
I'm just grateful that in my dreams
there will always be
a better life than what I have
in this reality

we get what we ask for
all our thoughts and words have weight
love and lust and loneliness and
hope and fear and hate
floating in the air filling the spaces
between things
making each of us connected
to all living beings