Questions

Can I find acceptance for
the things that make me ill?
Can I just imagine that
these dreams I have are real?
Can I face injustice knowing
it may never change?
Can I learn to normalize
the things that I find strange?

Will I find a place in this world
full of broken hearts?
Will I end my suffering
and make a brand new start?
Will I make the best of
opportunities I'm given?
Will those who have hurt me find
that they have been forgiven?

Is there anything that I can say
I know for certain?
Is my puppet master hiding
behind a black curtain?
Is my will my own?
Am I controlled
by my own thoughts?
Is there anything I want
to be that I am not?

I have many questions
and I'm searching for the answers.
Doubt can rise and grow inside
like some rare form of cancer.
But it's in the asking that
we find all that we need.
Thinking that we'll ever know
is a foolish thought indeed. 
 

how it goes

underneath my skin
that's where everything
begins to feel so gray
no way to know
which way to go
from here so I'll just stay
inside this time
so I might find
some peace
inside my fragile mind
and look within
till I begin
to love
what I find there
it isn't fair
their cruelty
reflects upon
my self respect
it's cold and dark
inside my heart
sometimes I wish
for death
but then my breath
brings oxygen
to every limb
and my heart beats
again and then
my blood it flows
that's how it goes
everyone knows
that's how it goes
and goes and goes

we feel sorrow
and letting go
is easier said
than it's done
now I've begun
to rise up from
the ashes
and to spread
my wings
my favorite things
these words
are strings
that tie me to
my conciousness
so I confess
I let my stress
take over
when I should have
stopped
and given though
there is a lot
that I don't know
that's how it goes
and goes and goes
that's how it goes
and goes and goes

Prison Walls

the way the light is bent just right
it's shaped just like a coffin
you can chain my hands and feet
but you can't box my thoughts in
righteous indignation is
the crime that I will plead to
and systematic failures are
the veils that I must see through

your testament is ugliness
your hatred unbecoming
you are ignorant of all
the concepts that you're shunning
I am not your little bitch
I don't have to obey you
I am grateful to be free
from that which has enslaved you

prison walls can block the sun
but not the human spirit
they can preach and screech at you
but you don't have to hear it
I may be afraid sometimes
but that is not a weakness
I'll hold colors in my mind
to fight against this bleakness

popularity is not the thing I'm here to find
I just need some time to sort
some shit out in my mind
I will find resolve in being
who I've always been
there is no sword mightier
than this here little pen

this cell has a resonance
that makes my voice feel stronger
still I don't know that I can
take being here much longer
I will make my point
and lay myself down for my cause
for justice has nothing to do
with their misguided laws