Friday, February 11, 2011

Imaginary Friends

She's a little sullen girl just hiding in her room
writing little poems in her book
she has many things that she would like to show the world
but she's a girl so no one cares to look

she has many questions and she's searching for the answers
seeking out the ones who say they know
but the things they teach her they never really reach her
she can see through stories full of holes

imaginary friends are the only ones she has
loneliness so thick it can be thrown
I wish I could tell her it will get better some day
but that is something that she's always known
there is so much that she's always known

now she's growing up and things are complicated
a woman's heart inside a child's frame
experts say she's gifted but it feels like she is cursed
so few others to whom she relates

she's an older woman looking back upon her life
each and every path she chose to take
some of them were dead ends but what she learned on the way
made her glad that she'd made those mistakes

imaginary friends are the only ones she has
loneliness so thick it can be thrown
I wish I could tell her it will get better some day
but that is something that she's always known
there is so much that she's always known

Ample Miracles (for Godless Heathens)

there are ample miracles for godless heathens
an old lady prays in the name of revenge
a gypsy is blessed with the love of her brethren
those who are lost find their way in the end

holy men dream of winning gods favor
worships fall to their knees and repent
heathens don't fear any gods or demons
heaven and hell are just places we've been

you can tell me I'm damned
but only I decide who I am

the sun shines bright on the faces of skeptics
wine tastes fine when it's no ones blood
prayers are carried on the wind to butterflies
forgiveness is free to the ones that we love

I have been to the banks of the river
I have climbed to the mountain's peak
there is no pew like the dirt under my feet
no cross more sacred than the trees

you can tell me I'm damned
but only I decide who I am

Family

it's so hard to concentrate
with all that's going on
my mind is a bandwagon
that everyone is on
past and present moving towards
a future that's unseen
all that I can know for sure
where I've already been

my DNA full of diseases
most of them are mental
my family, unfeeling says
that I'm too sentimental
choking it all down may be
the thing that works for them
but love and passion are
inherent parts of who I am

gave me a life
made me want to return it
begged for their love
so they told me to earn it
broke my blue heart
but proved it was resilient
they never noticed
the ways that I'm brilliant

no words are more painful
than the piercing ones would dare
silence is a noxious cloud
that's poisoning the air
I know truth is frightening
but once it has been faced
everyone can breathe again
and healing can take place

I left our family portrait
in a locket on a tree
hoping that the forest would
impart some clarity
I left us there and walked away
it was a kind of prayer
that all of my relations feel
the peace that I found there

gave me a life
made me want to return it
begged for their love
so they told me to earn it
broke my blue heart
but proved it was resilient
they never noticed
the ways that I'm brilliant

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Scripts

hello good morning sir what can I do for you?
sugar in your coffee, do you take one lump or two?
thank you for choosing us, we hope you'll come again
this same conversation will be waiting for you then

hello how are you? I am fine how about you?
never been better, it's been so nice seeing you
so many words to say without even thinking
no meaning to convey, true dialogue is shrinking

we speak in scripts that we have all learned to recite
borrowed from others there is no need to re-write
there's no original sentiments to say
it's all been said before so just lean on cliches

sorry to hear that, get well soon, I'll pray for you
call me if there is anything else that I can do
I'll send you flowers, greeting cards and red balloons
anything at all but hear what you've been going through

let's not talk politics, religion, sin or art
it seems too dangerous, our viewpoints might depart
civilized people shouldn't seem to disagree
be just like him, I'll be like her, he'll be like me

we speak in scripts that we have all learned to recite
borrowed from others there is no need to re-write
there's no original sentiment to say
it's all been said before so just lean on cliches

brown eyed child bride

he sees a pretty flower
wants to keep it for himself
presses it inside a book
and puts it on the shelf
and though it may not grow or bloom
or dance against the breeze
it doesn't matter to him
it's just there to fill his needs

he gave you tabs of paper
made you think in different ways
wrapped you up inside his world
and took you far away
but no one could have said a word
you just weren't listening
I hope some day that you'll take back
the life that you've been missing

brown eyed child bride
you were my friend
you were my guide
now the light that shined has died
you seem so lost inside

how can you nurture friendships
when you don't care for yourself
how can you build your spirit
when your focus is on wealth
how can you place judgments on
the things you've never known
why are you still like a child
when everybody else has grown

the wall around you taller
than it's ever been before
I don't think I have the will
to climb it anymore
I know that you feel trapped in there
I hate to walk away
but there's an unlocked door somewhere
it's fear that makes you stay

brown eyed child bride
you were my friend
you were my guide
now the light that shined has died
you seem so lost inside

Truth

I used to be a nicer girl
but kindness will be punished
I'd rather you call me a bitch
than disingenuous

take a step back look and see
there is a bigger picture
let the words I want to speak
come out, no need to censor

somebody has to say these things
I hope you'll understand
I've found that truth is the only
friend that I really have

women aren't supposed to have
strong willed opinions
they're supposed to smile
and be polite

I guess it's unfortunate that
you feel that way
my tongue's lashing out
from all the bites

somebody has to say these things
I hope you'll understand
I've found that truth is the only
friend that I really have

Rivers

rivers aren't supposed to flow uphill
and feelings aren't supposed to be suppressed
they tell us to hide all signs of rage
because they'd rather that we feel depressed

I have found the ugliest of truths
more beautiful than all the pretty lies
don't let others tell you how to feel
your heart isn't there to compromise

I can't take it anymore
I have to speak my mind
my pen is the sword against
the bourgeois and swine

Sometimes I feel like I'm under seige
outside forces move to occupy
but the wall I'm building around me
keeps me safely tucked away inside

injustice is a toxin in our blood
poisoning our minds with frustration
we're supposed to take it with a smile
but our stomachs churn with rancid bile

why can't you just understand
I'm not what you expect
I am small but I am big
and I deserve respect

Best Friends




you always know how I'm feeling
I never have to say a word
you put your head on my shoulder
and in your love I feel comfort

your tender eyes they can convey
a wisdom people seldom gain
and though you lack the words to say it
your movements tell me what you mean

I never want to have to live without you
we've become part of one another
we'll find adventure and so many new
territories to discover

I've never met another like you
you're strange and beautiful and kind
and when my thoughts are growing gloomy
you can always change my mind

when it grows cold I'll keep you warm dear
I'll wrap you up and hold you tight
don't let the thunder outside scare you
I'm here and everything's alright

I never want to have to live without you
we've become part of one another
we'll find adventure and so many new
territories to discover

Off the Lamb

not going on the lamb
can't make me run away
not sitting on your lap
no I don't want to play...
with you... at all... no way

said you respected me
but that's not what you show
I'm not a piece of meat
in case you didn't know...
there's more... than meets... the eye

you're a dirty old man
watch where you put those hands
I just can't understand
why you'd betray the band

When something seems to be
just too good to be true
I've learned it often means
claims won't be backed by proof
here I… believed… the lie

project self righteousness
make judgments on my life
ask god to bless me then
covet your good friends wife
practice… the things… you preach

you're a dirty old man
watch where you put those hands
I just can't understand
why you'd betray the band

my husband was your friend
you disrespected him
I'm an artist you know
not just some cheap peep show
I'm not your cheap peep show!