Family

it's so hard to concentrate
with all that's going on
my mind is a bandwagon
that everyone is on
past and present moving towards
a future that's unseen
all that I can know for sure
where I've already been

my DNA full of diseases
most of them are mental
my family, unfeeling says
that I'm too sentimental
choking it all down may be
the thing that works for them
but love and passion are
inherent parts of who I am

gave me a life
made me want to return it
begged for their love
so they told me to earn it
broke my blue heart
but proved it was resilient
they never noticed
the ways that I'm brilliant

no words are more painful
than the piercing ones would dare
silence is a noxious cloud
that's poisoning the air
I know truth is frightening
but once it has been faced
everyone can breathe again
and healing can take place

I left our family portrait
in a locket on a tree
hoping that the forest would
impart some clarity
I left us there and walked away
it was a kind of prayer
that all of my relations feel
the peace that I found there

gave me a life
made me want to return it
begged for their love
so they told me to earn it
broke my blue heart
but proved it was resilient
they never noticed
the ways that I'm brilliant