what do you want?

So I was standing in my kitchen this morning relating a current romantic fantasy to an ex lover. I can't say how the conversation got to where it did... but he looked at me and asked me, "so is that what you really want?" When I couldn't answer a firm positive, he scoffed and muttered something about how women never really know what they want. What I'm not convinced of, is that "what do you really want" is a fair question. To answer such a question firmly means that there is one outcome to your current set of circumstances that you would find most favorable. One situation that would make you happy, and an infinity of regretful ones. If I don't know what I want it is because I have come to understand that getting to what you most desire in life is a process. There is no instant gratification. Genuine fulfilment takes effort. I also know that getting closer to realizing your dreams is a long journey, and journeys are designed to change us along the way. I know that the things I desire most will change as my journey brings me closer to them. If I don't know what I want, it's because the context of the question contrasts so deeply with the perspective of the ultimate answer. The only place to go from here is to accept being lost and take joy in it. I'd rather be lost in a forest than find myself in a prison. And lost people can often find themselves in one another. Let's all change our assosiations. Lost, found... free or bound. What will it be Jack?