Neda's Generation

her dark eyes flicker searching
for an answer in the air
what exactly is the reason
that she's lying there?
cell phone camera rolling
bullet in her chest
now her blood is flowing
and it's fueling the unrest

green fists rise in anger
as injustice claims it's victim
voices rise in unison
calling for redemption
her last breath viewed across the world
mourned in every nation
martyrdom will be her home
it's Neda's generation

they will stand for nothing less
than freedom from oppression
strength through peace takes to the streets
the world will stand behind them
women silenced way too long
refuse to live in fear
they say we're Neda's generation
we will speak and you will hear

some have said her death was one
we never should have seen
flicker cross the pixels of
our home computer screens
some will turn away from her
while others bow their heads
how can we lie to ourselves
while Neda lies there dead?

green fists rise in anger
as injustice claims it's victim
voices rise in unison
calling for redemption
her last breath viewed across the world
mourned in every nation
martyrdom will be her home
it's Neda's generation

yeah, they just want to be themselves
they're Neda's generation

Demolition

I've lived so many lives in just this one
I've seen so many versions of the truth
the stories that I tell are seldom spun
the lines around my eyes they hold the proof

I've heard I love you from a thousand lips
but love was not the reason that they spoke
there were times I wanted to believe
just so I could feel like I had hope

there are many endings and beginings
there are many secrets in the wind
there's an answer if you're asking questions
but truth it doesn't always lie within

I've had so many places I've called home
only just a few things stayed the same
at times I thought I'd never settle down
but I've just grown so tired of playing games

sometimes demolition leads to new growth
sometimes there's destruction and rebirth
feels like I've been waking from a nightmare
feels like I've discovered what I'm worth

there will always be those who will tell me
nothing that I ever do is right
there are times when hatred's overwhelming
but love is what will keep us warm at night

there's a peace that I am growing into
there is comfort in my lover's bed
there are flowers growing in our garden
there are ideas growing in our heads

cheating death

I was supposed to die amidst twisted metal and fire last Sunday, but I am not dead. About a month before, a strange acquaintance from a former life notified me by way of internet that he'd had a dream... no it was more than a dream it was a vision. He had seen my love and I die, and then noted that a calender near by read April 17th. Dreams have a way of making sense often despite blatant absurdity. This felt real to him in a way that he didn't really even expect me to understand. But I did understand. Not long before I received his message, I had a similar experience in which I witnessed the death of a dear friend and her young son. As they entered a particular intersection near their home, a man in a large commercial truck was searching for something on the seat next to him, failing to notice the hue of the traffic light shifting from green to yellow to red. Death was immediate upon impact. The next seen was of her husband and daughter alone contemplating a future without the other half of their family. I did not want to scare her, but I had to say something. She agreed to take a different route, and not to drive alone with her son for a while. Perhaps, this new vision was a continuation of something that had I had already set into motion. Maybe the signals are there for those who are willing to hear them. Of course, it could also be that I am crazy like they say, and the only reality that exists is the one that we can see and touch. Whatever the truth of the matter may be, I heeded the warning, stayed home, and planted corn and sunflowers in my garden.
The next day I feel ill. It started with a deep exhaustion like none I'd felt before. Then fluids began leaking from every orifice. No amount of soup or tea or warmth seemed to provide any relief. I tried to will myself well as I have done on many occasions, but my condition continued to worsen. Time stood still. Days passed. Shadows moved across walls. I drifted in and out of medicated sleep. My dreams were haunting and disturbing. I took to reading books that asked intriguing questions about the nature of humanity and the struggle between the individual and the collective. Each author had a way of placing the personal stories of love between alienated people into a greater sociopolitical context that shed gentle light like that of the moon, illuminating the hidden subtleties within their pages. I shivered in the heat and sweated the toxins out of my system. I wrote songs for ghosts. I remembered things I'd intentionally forgotten as everything I'd ever known flowed through the pores of my skin. At last I realized that I may have changed my "fate" but the death that had been meant for me would now have to move through me. I would have to feel it. I would have to suffer, think, ask questions, remember, sweat, cry, and be humbled by the fragility of my body's little system. And now I have taken leave from my sick bed to spend the small amount of energy I have regained to write if for no other reason that to prove that I am in fact still living.

Bird of Prey

talons gripped my heart
they're finally releasing
this bird of prey's
been known to say
that hearts are made for eating

all I ever wanted
to spread my wings in flight
to soar up in the sky with her
safety in her nest at night

she comes up silently
swoops down from the sky
rips your heart right out
while she's pecking out your eyes
she'll leave you blind

she's a lonesome animal
love is not her nature
she let her young fall from the tree
left them in the desert

so I let my day dreams go
and fight with all my might
just because she has no heart
won't mean she'll have mine

she comes up silently
swoops down from the sky
rips your heart right out
while she's pecking out your eyes
she'll leave you blind





- (for Candy)