Fascination

The following post was transcribed from a musical jam session I had with my friend Dallas and several of his friends from popular bands such as The Morning After Girls, and The Dandy Warhols. Of course, Dallas was kind enough not to tell me who they were at the time because it would have made me even more nervous about singing in front of people than I already was. I was not told ahead of time that I would be singing at all, so I had to pull lyrics from my head as the music in the room inspired me. I was rather shy, so many of the vocals were difficult for me to interpret from the MP3's Dallas made me. In such cases, I tried to meditate on what was on my mind that night, and in many cases, I invented new lyrics where the original words were indistinguishable due to my lack of projection and annunciation. The session took place shortly after my return from Ecuador in April of 2006. I had been working night and day to edit footage from the jungle into something presentable for a film festival I was presenting at. I hadn't slept more than a couple hours a night for three weeks, and in my delirious state of being I just went into a meditation and let words flow from my self unfiltered by concsious thought. Anyway, here is what I came up with.



fascination
I feel I'm under pressure
I've been trying to save the earth
I've been dying for rebirth

fascination
I feel I'm under a deep sensation
when you told me life is hard
I want to love you but my heart is scarred

fascination
feel my heart is under sedation
can't seem to find the truth
by focusing on the past

fascination
this is such a crazy sensation
I'm feeling scared and a little frozen
then I see it's the path I've chosen

fascination
this is such a crazy location
I want to flee to a civilization
that's never been cause it never was

someone's putting their eyes on me
I turn myself around so I can see
all the bounties that have been lost
'cause the companies ignore the cost
doing for business what business takes
quite a path for a president

falling into a web of extremists
and wealthy white men
tranquility is my gift
this is all that I have within me
this is all that I have within me
this is everything

tranquility is my gift
passion is the voice that guides me
tranquility is my gift
passion is the force that's within me

fascination
this is such a crazy sensation
I'm obsessed with a place so far away

got my head so deep in the jungle
got my mind wrapped around a lie that lives
got my head so deep in the jungle
got my mind on a truth that has to give

fascination
feel like I've been under sedation
and now I see that I have begun it
I thought I was lost but now I've found it

hey you, where you going?
hey you, what time have you found?
feel vibrations under your feet now
dig your roots into solid ground

hold it up to the light to see through it
there are places I'd rather be
expect the night to consume all my worries
asking truth to come permeate me

I'm not so lost that I would follow you
couldn't find the innocence I had
wishing I could hold onto something
there's nothing left of what wasn't meant to be had.