Change

don't ever let it stop you
ink at the tip of a pen
something about the way you lie there
in weakness I give in
some certain proposal
promises left unsaid
fur at the tip of a lily
and I'm strong

with a smile and a nod
hello, goodbye, I love you
those things you're not supposed to do...
finish my sculpture with
frosting and carnival music
I cannot see this place you've brought me
I cannot hear the lies you tell me

I don't buy into what you're selling
things change babe...
not because the world is ending
every book I've ever read for you
burns like fire
allowing any ending you choose

frost settles slightly on the window
the morning is still
it's quieter than usual
the cool breeze that's typical
of this time of year becomes
more frigid with each passing gust
and I'm dressed for summer

pain at the tips of my fingers
keeps me awake
waiting for something
but I'm not sure what yet
and I can't keep myself from wondering
if you'll be there when I need you to
hold me like I need you to
but don't let that stop you

don't ever let it stop you
don't let your feet get sore
things change without a warning
I can't say another word

Ferris Wheel

my mind is a Ferris wheel
where sometimes I'm so high
that I can see most everything
and I can touch the sky
then there is the middle ground
where lines can be ignored
and I can observe deeply now
this moment I'm here for
still dissension is a certainty
and so I cry
but tears are just a flock of birds
that quickly pass on by
and once again, I'm lifted
and am present in my life
rising slowly upward
watching joy and pain float by.

powder blue

there's a powder blue
little boy inside of you
and I know someday
he'll be coming back
but the man he's become
yeah he's really come undone
focused only on
the things that he lacks
caught inside of loop
of rancid feedback

He's been tied to an anchor
and he's drowning in his anger
over all the things
that seem to go wrong
but when push comes to shove
it's no stronger than our love
or the beauty that we share
in our songs
I might leave him but
I won't be gone long

he's afraid of heights
so afraid that he might
succeed at the things
his father disdains
but he does it despite him
although he could never fight him
he is way more confident
than he seems
as he follows his own heart
to his dreams

there are notes so unwilling
still they flow from his fingers
with fluidity his soul can envy
and while he doesn't believe
in himself as much as me
I have hope someday
that he'll learn to see
that their world is just
imaginary

not really here

I feel like I have been
placed upon a shelf
I want to break out of
the story I tell myself
I have been walking around
the earth looking for something
just like a treasure
and just as hard to find
I don't know where I'm going
I don't know where I've been
all that I know is that I'm
looking within again

Don't ask me any questions
I have no answers prepared
and you don't care what I think
I can tell by your stare
you could look right through me
and I won't even care
I've gotten used to feeling
like I am not really here

I find it funny that we
all feel so alone
when we could all just be
more friendly and reach out more
unintended consequences
social casualties
not sure when to be ourselves
and when to try to please
I feel so awkward
so tired of being me
but that's the only thing that
I can authentically be

don't ask me any questions
I have no answers prepared
and you don't care what I think
I can feel it in your stare
you could look right through me
and I won't even care
I've become used to feeling
like I am not really here

Shadow Puppet

I don't sleep much because someday
I'm gonna sleep forever
or maybe be reborn into a different life
I hope it will be better
I feel broken down from being kicked around
I can't afford to fight it
by eyes are holding fear back in the form of tears
not sure if I can hide it

I'm chewed to the quick, so fucking sick
of all the games
that we're forced to play so they can take
our names in vain
I'm hung by the scruff and I'm feeling rough
along the edge
try not to look at me, I'm terrified you'll see
who cares?

I'm just a shadow puppet
who's eating all their words
a broken record skipping
on all that I've ever said or heard
I can't waste any more time
on all their thoughts about me
my nose is stuck to the grind
of being who I want to be

I don't know what to do anymore
this world's out of control
ignorance is a point of pride
told to suppress what's inside
I just can't take much more of this
focus on financial success
when we all know it's out of reach
for those born into poverty

why do they love to judge
what's obvious about me
missing the context of
all that they cannot see
their constant commentary
is so irrelevant
why don't they spend more time on
something significant?

I'm just a shadow puppet
who's eating all their words
a broken record skipping
on all that I've ever said or heard
I can't waste any more time
on all their thoughts about me
my nose is stuck to the grind
of being who I want to be

Regrets

the only words that I regret
are those I didn't say
I've spent too much time on doubt
because I was afraid
I let their opinions make me hate
my only voice
adopted their perceptions like
I didn't have a choice

I take responsibility
before I act then own it
if I didn't want this crop
I certainly wouldn't have grown it
why are you so hell-bent on
convincing me to say
that I regret my words because
you took them the wrong way

compassion and detachment
aren't mutually exclusive
focusing on someone else's life
is so intrusive
I can't waste my time on hoping
that you'll understand me
while you're busy drafting all
the verdicts that you'll hand me

you tell me to swallow
what you know will make me sick
so I wash my hands of you
and chew them to the quick
I'll execute the punishment
I did nothing to earn
but I won't let you do it because
then you'd never learn

Truth

I want to see you
don't want to be you
be yourself and I'll be mine

we are all different
nothing's wrong with it
anything else wastes our time

our own perspectives
are so subjective
we find our truth our own way

we start out in wombs
and end up in tombs
why care what others will say

resisting normalcy
it means nothing to me
it bores me this third degree

say what you want to
I'll listen to you
that doesn't mean I'll agree

I'll put it simply
you'll never get me
turn my attention inside

I'm on my own path
your troubles distract me
truth is outnumbered by lies

the notions your selling
seem overwhelming
I can't keep up with their pace

why sell my self short
just to conform
saving, not showing my face

I would prefer if
you'd be mature and
take our nuances as such

show some compassion
it's all I'm asking
why does it feel like too much?

Spoonfuls

enough is enough
quit your bitching and change it
if you hate your life
why don't you rearrange it
projecting your shit onto me
is an excuse
to keep you from looking
at what is wrong with you

you're just a princess
who won't lift a finger
allowing resentment
to fester and linger
you look in the mirror
and hate what you see
so now you are pushing
your ugly on me

you view my happiness
like a slight against you
I've always wondered
what I have done to you
you are so cold
and so hard to be around
you went out hunting
for the misery you found

you behave like you
exclusively feel pain
victim of everyone
never share the blame
dishing out spoonfuls
of hostility
while you refuse helpings
of kindness from me

at this point I just wish
somebody would deck you
'cause all that they do
is coddle and protect you
so you get away with
the things that you do
and spread all your darkness
to those around you

Intangible

trying to talk to them is like
floating in the ocean
their current carries me far
from the place where I began
I could swim against it
but it's stronger than my thin arms
and I am in so deep now that
my feet can't find the sand

I am getting closer to
who I have longed to be
but confidence is threatening
to insecurity
every time I get to feeling
good about myself
judgment comes a flooding in
from everybody else

we get what we ask for
all our thoughts and words have weight
love and lust and loneliness and
hope and fear and hate
floating in the air filling the spaces
between things
making each of us connected
to all living beings

I have just one obstacle
that always holds me back
I've so much to offer but
it's money that I lack
people act like poetry
is just symbolic trash
while they pursue their "power"
through the false idol of cash

there's no amount of coffee that
could help me right now
exhausted from not sleeping and
my body's shutting down
I'm just grateful that in my dreams
there will always be
a better life than what I have
in this reality

we get what we ask for
all our thoughts and words have weight
love and lust and loneliness and
hope and fear and hate
floating in the air filling the spaces
between things
making each of us connected
to all living beings

Undone

I stew and I pace
and my heart starts to race
when I think of all that is undone

I weep and I scream
but only in my dreams
so outside I'll appear to be calm

my habits are crutches
I walk on but such is my life
and it helps me get by

I'm bored with the patterns
so worn out and tattered
that constitute being alive

facing my fears
is how I pass the years
diminishing each one in turn

when life goes from quiet to
full-blooded riot
we'll all have our bridges to burn
we'll all have our bridges to burn

come dance with me hither
and we'll see together
that we are all one and the same

we share the desire
to ROAR like a fire
and run like we've never been tamed
we'll run like we've never been tamed
we'll run like we've never been tamed

Threat

don't think for a second that
I'll respond well to threats
just give it a try and see
the side of me you'll get
you have no respect
and just as little intellect
diplomacy a concept that's
just too advanced to get

huddled in your little house
secluded from the world
terrified that they will see
you're still that little girl
underneath the piss and vinegar
and haggard looks
wasting your life waiting
hand and foot on thugs and crooks

fuck you for ever saying that
you were my friend
right from the beginning
I could see how this would end
I have known your kind before
the world revolves around you
negativity and bigotry and lies
surround you

I bit my tongue bloody
and that's hard for me to do
listened to your bullshit
'cause I felt sorry for you
you're so far beneath me that
I can not even see you
as I walk away so grateful
that I'll never be you

poison in your hands
and toxins flowing from your lips
dried and cracked and ugly
like the hatred you profess
I thought maybe if I showed you
patience and compassion
you would change but you are still
as awful as you have been

I am sorry that your life
made you a bitter person
but you are so much work
and ultimately so not worth it
I established boundaries and
you set your sights to cross them
that's why every time you find a friend
you find you've lost them

Alone

alone in a room... in a house... in a town
looking for something that can not be found
trying to lose what can not be evaded
alone in a world that's indifferent and jaded

the rain shows no mercy, like the pain that's inside
and the aching of my body and the love that was a lie
this journey feels like life itself... wandering without aim
a sleeping chamber made of earth is where I want to dream

the further I go, the closer I follow behind
everything I know and the burdens of my mind

I like cemeteries better than these street cafe's
the dead remind the living of the things coming our way
no place feels like home and I'm so tired of being alone
but eyes that watch across the room are just a stranger's face

the sun has broken through the clouds, the high is kicking in
I'm wandering through places that before I'd never been
and I'll take a vow of silence for I do not want to talk
I'll sit and write this poem down, and then I'll simply walk

I want to find a place to sleep where chilling winds won't find me
where ghosts of memories have no more power to remind me

and as I go I find that I am holding my own hand
falling deeply in love with the stranger that I am

Done

the greatest part of loving you was the fantasy I had
of living the life that I have now with a far more loving man
the truth was never so sincere as feelings in my heart
but I spoke words you couldn't hear and it tore us apart

so why now do you come around so many long years after
to reopen my healing wounds to tell me you've come back here
you know I liked you better in the forest isolated
the city seems to magnify the parts of you I hated

the funny thing when I look back is both of us were right
and we were both so wrong at times, and we were both so high
and as it all broke down I think it started to decay
fermenting neurotoxins poisoning us every day

I missed you most when you were here though you never really were
I was just a toy for you... I knew you still loved her
but every time I find somebody else who sees within me
you're threatened by unfolding wings and so you try to pin me

I have been through sadness, fear, denial, doubt and anger
but now I've found acceptance and I'm never going back there
you only want me now because you know I don't want you
why don't you go find yourself some groupie slut to screw

Lines in the Sand

there are things I wish that I could tell you
but they are mysteries to even me
I've been known to draw lines in the sand
that mean nothing to anyone but me

there are spectors waiting in the dark
night ghasts with no mercy in their hearts
I close my eyes but visions will not cease
my minds infested with vague memories

all I've ever had are words
you can't take them away
help me find the right ones
to express the things I need to say

hypnotize me if that's what it takes
take away the fear so I can speak
I have stories locked away inside
truth is all I need now to be free

music it can help to heal the pain
but lately it just feels like there's too much
compelled to do the things that stop my brain
from thinking about anything at all

all I've ever had are words
you can't take them away
help me find the right ones
to express the things I need to say

my wand is a tree branch
I'm casting spells again
creating sigils out of
my lines drawn in the sand

Profound Simplicity

profound simplicity
fragile reality
cumulus clouds I see
drifting on summer breezes

I know the grass is green
I know the trees are free
to reach up toward the sky
while digging their roots deep

the things that I don't know
could fill a billion poems
the things I'll never be
a vast and endless sea

we celebrate the night
that's when the bats can fly
and no one judges them
darkness is their disguise

black skies and shooting stars
finding out who we are
fire light and company
profound simplicity

kettle and pot agree
they're not as dark as me
when worry dominates
and I procrastinate

I want to clear the air
I want to travel where
no human being would be
so that I can be free

my mind is wandering
so busy pondering
the challenge of our time
in which myself I find

sometimes I wonder if
any one's ever known me
I question everything
that they have ever shown me

trouble around the curve
we're building up the nerve
to focus on our breath
and not linger in death

black skies and shooting stars
finding out who we are
fire light and company
profound simplicity

Camp Fire Song

I know what brings you to this place
I'd walk on coals for you
cross the fire to see your face

the mountain air reveals
a clarity we lacked before
this is a different me
than that girl running out the door

civilization's over-rated anyway
everyday living for the chance to get away

there's nothing more serene
than where I find myself at now
the river flows through me
the moon and stars have all come out

your siren song it calls me
up the banks to fire-side
there are no laws but nature's
that compel me to abide

sap flows from trees like tears
from every axe that they have seen
shooting stars wait for my glance
so that they can be seen

my breath's becoming deeper
and my mind is coming clear
so grateful for this moment
and so happy to be here

Echo

my heart is an open book
that nobody is reading
waiting for someone to look
but nobody can see me
I am always reaching out
for things so out of reach
earning all the lessons that
nobody cared to teach

familiar with this feeling
when it's real and no one cares
and the truth won't cease it's fire
in a sea of vacant stares
for years I've sought forever
and I've found it in the wait
I've tried to change the outcome
but I can't avoid my fate

sometimes it is humbling
to know I have no choice
I'll sing out if only to hear
the echo of my voice
and I just can't care anymore
if anyone else hears it
music is a valve for what
is building in my spirit

I will take my chances
and I know the risks I'm taking
laying it all out with all this
music that we're making
but someday I'll be dead
and this will be what's left behind
a simple little record of
my heart and soul and mind

I know that I am different
and most people can't relate
but I'm not the only one who's ever
stumbled at the gate
and if only one of them
finds comfort in my words
I won't have wasted all of my time
living on this earth

Traveler's Song

I have been around the world
and I have seen so many things
nothing can replace the joy
that simply being with you brings

there are hidden doors within
the house inside my dreams
secret passages and stairs
I don't know what it means

let's find out together dear
we will travel without fare
we don't need to leave our bed
to explore everywhere

I'm surrounded by the sounds
of things that I once heard
I try to ignore the noise
remember what I learned

there is blood upon this page
I don't know where it's from
I've been bled but never tamed
I would sooner run

you can come with me
so long as scenic routes are fine
I don't have much money
what I value is my time

Naturally

haters gather 'round, I have got something to tell you
please listen to what I have to say
you're waving a flag around that stands for liberty
and yet you aim to take it all away

when I was a child I was taught their propaganda
but it could not withstand my scrutiny
for I have met so many brilliant, hardworking people
who like to unwind with a little weed

you'll make your judgements but I won't abide them
I have many friends who know the truth
we don't care or wanna we just love marijuana
nobody has asked you to approve

something's growing naturally that relieves our pain
helps us sleep and lifts away our blues
you've no right to legislate the way we live our lives
we're adults and we'll live how we choose

feds are wasting money to imprison people
whose only crime is taboo botany
while doctors push their pills with side effects worse than your symptoms
'cause big farm has a wealthier lobby

you'll make your judgements but I won't abide them
I have many friends who know the truth
we don't care or wanna we just love marijuana
nobody has asked you to approve

flip

love and hate have lusted for each other
since human hearts have beat upon this earth
it seems that one's always fueling the other
every blessing comes with it's own curse

yes it's true that every coin has two sides
the metal that they share it binds them tight
we are always flipping them in our minds
trying to decide what's wrong and right

kindness and cruelty
sleep in the same bed
they're sending me their dreams
filling up my head

I will never understand what they do
why anyone would try to hurt another
but I accept that it will just continue
we make enemies of all our lovers

our families and friends should help us to grow
but often they just make us shrink away
they don't want to hear the things that we know
they'll just have to learn in their own way

I love them endlessly but
there is a dark side
they use their power to
shake me up inside