powder blue

there's a powder blue
little boy inside of you
and I know someday
he'll be coming back
but the man he's become
yeah he's really come undone
focused only on
the things that he lacks
caught inside of loop
of rancid feedback

He's been tied to an anchor
and he's drowning in his anger
over all the things
that seem to go wrong
but when push comes to shove
it's no stronger than our love
or the beauty that we share
in our songs
I might leave him but
I won't be gone long

he's afraid of heights
so afraid that he might
succeed at the things
his father disdains
but he does it despite him
although he could never fight him
he is way more confident
than he seems
as he follows his own heart
to his dreams

there are notes so unwilling
still they flow from his fingers
with fluidity his soul can envy
and while he doesn't believe
in himself as much as me
I have hope someday
that he'll learn to see
that their world is just
imaginary

not really here

I feel like I have been
placed upon a shelf
I want to break out of
the story I tell myself
I have been walking around
the earth looking for something
just like a treasure
and just as hard to find
I don't know where I'm going
I don't know where I've been
all that I know is that I'm
looking within again

Don't ask me any questions
I have no answers prepared
and you don't care what I think
I can tell by your stare
you could look right through me
and I won't even care
I've gotten used to feeling
like I am not really here

I find it funny that we
all feel so alone
when we could all just be
more friendly and reach out more
unintended consequences
social casualties
not sure when to be ourselves
and when to try to please
I feel so awkward
so tired of being me
but that's the only thing that
I can authentically be

don't ask me any questions
I have no answers prepared
and you don't care what I think
I can feel it in your stare
you could look right through me
and I won't even care
I've become used to feeling
like I am not really here

Shadow Puppet

I don't sleep much because someday
I'm gonna sleep forever
or maybe be reborn into a different life
I hope it will be better
I feel broken down from being kicked around
I can't afford to fight it
by eyes are holding fear back in the form of tears
not sure if I can hide it

I'm chewed to the quick, so fucking sick
of all the games
that we're forced to play so they can take
our names in vain
I'm hung by the scruff and I'm feeling rough
along the edge
try not to look at me, I'm terrified you'll see
who cares?

I'm just a shadow puppet
who's eating all their words
a broken record skipping
on all that I've ever said or heard
I can't waste any more time
on all their thoughts about me
my nose is stuck to the grind
of being who I want to be

I don't know what to do anymore
this world's out of control
ignorance is a point of pride
told to suppress what's inside
I just can't take much more of this
focus on financial success
when we all know it's out of reach
for those born into poverty

why do they love to judge
what's obvious about me
missing the context of
all that they cannot see
their constant commentary
is so irrelevant
why don't they spend more time on
something significant?

I'm just a shadow puppet
who's eating all their words
a broken record skipping
on all that I've ever said or heard
I can't waste any more time
on all their thoughts about me
my nose is stuck to the grind
of being who I want to be